Why I’ve Stopped Using the ‘F’ Word

No, not THAT F word

Fat (n): One of the three major macronutrients that has many biological functions, namely to provide energy and serve to protect vital organs from external damage.

Notice how that definition has nothing to do with outward appearance or weight.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I no longer want to use the F word. Not to tear myself down, and not as an adjective to describe others. And I’ll tell you why.

Ive narrowed it down to the 3  basic reasons why someone calls themselves/others fat:

  1. To solicit a compliment: “OMG NO YOU DONT! YOUR SO SKINNY, I WISH I LOOKED LIKE YOU!” (Like, I admit it, I’ve been that girl)
  2. To make them feel better about themselves: ” You know…so-and-so has gained a lot of weight, she’s gotten kind of fat”
  3. Because they truly  feel that way about themselves.

And honestly.. none of these are good enough reasons to use the F word.

How many times have you felt better after calling yourself fat? You sit there, look in the mirror, tear yourself apart, tell yourself awful things, and expect to feel better? Its like sticking your hand on the stove and expecting not to get burned.

And trust me, I learned this lesson the HARD way. It took years of self destructive and self deprecating behaviors and I’m finally just now begining to understand this.

I started noticing how often people comment about their own weight or make a comment about someone else’s weight… it was a lot. And you know, some people argue “oh, thats just part of being a woman, we talk about losing weights and dieting, its normal.” ITS JUST A PART OF BEING A WOMAN? I just want to make sure that you’ve read and processed that. Im gonna be honest and tell you that I’ve actually heard that statement come out of someones mouth and I still can’t wrap my head around it. No No NO. If  we are okay with the fact that this is what is considered “normal” then do you see the issue here????

I decided that I was going to try to make a conscious effort to  not comment about my weight or anyone elses. I have spent way too much time making weight the focal point of my life and I’ve finally had enough, When someone brings up how “fat” they are, or how much weight they’ve gained, I dont engage. I change the subject. I won’t use the F word. I dont think that calling yourself fat should be normal. How about talking about the things you LIKE about yourself…? Oh my god. UNHEARD OF!!!!

So I challenge you: be cognizant of how many times you use the F word, be it about yourself or referring to another person.  I challenge you to stop using “fat” as an adjective to belittle yourself,   to feel better about yourself, or to seek out a compliment. Coming from the mouth of a nutrition major:  try to only use it when you’re talking about how awesome it makes your peanut butter taste 😉

Charleston, South Carolina: Day 5

The last day already? Wow that flew.

By now, I’m sure you guys see a pattern: gym, walk, breakfast, pool. This vacation was a lot different in the aspect that we didn’t have as much planned, wanted to relax and thats exactly what we did!

Friday was probably the hottest day all week, I only lasted in the sun for a couple hours, MAYBE. I sat underneath the shade near the snack bar with dad, and read a little (side note: A New Model by Ashley Graham was soooo good!!) And of course, since school never stops, I had to go in and take some notes. 2 hours later.. .mom and dad came up. I hate to admit it, but the sun took it out of us! We hung out in the room for a little, watched some TV, dad did some work, all that fun stuff.

Tavern and Table was the final dinner pick of the week. We looked into it, and the head chef there graduated from Le Cordon Bleu in Scottsdale, worked for Beau MacMillan, and battled Bobby Flay on Iron Chef and WON. Needless to say, we had to check it out!

We made reservations for 7pm, we of course got there a little early and went to their deck outside! Mom and I got a glass of prosecco ( I wanted something bubbly) and Dad ordered a Tito’s and lemonade. The restaurant was right on the water, so the view from the deck was awesome, and the atmosphere was fun! At this point it was almost 7:30 and we hadn’t been seated (Tavern and Table was a happening place!) and I was starving. We hadn’t eaten since 9 that morning and I was ready to collapse (okay maybe I’m being dramatic but still.)

We finally sat down and I was relieved. I was just happy to get something in my stomach. The Prosciutto and Fig Flatbread with whipped ricotta, balsamic onions, fontina, and arugula caught our eye. I took a bite and went to heaven. Everything about this pizza worked. The whipped ricotta was phenomenal and the figs were a sweet contrast.

I told myself that I wanted to eat shrimp and grits at least one time while I was down here, so it was now or never! Honestly, grits remind me of my all time favorite movie, My Cousin Vinny. “How do you like your grits? Regular, creamy, or aldente?” My answer is however Tavern and Table cooked them because wow were they delicious!  They were cheddar grits with spanish chorizo, cherry tomatoes, green onion, and moroccan sauce. To die for. Obviously, because “no self respecting southerner uses instant grits” (if you couldn’t tell, I know every line of that movie verbatim).

Mom got the Pan Seared Scallops with caramelized onion and bacon spaetzle, sun-dried tomatoes, fava, lemon caper butter. Anything with bacon and she’s on board. I had a bite and it was pretty dang good! Dad ordered the  Lobster Fra Diabolo, which was bucatini, red pepper flakes, roasted cherry tomatoes, lemon, and parsley. Dad really enjoyed it, he said he made a good choice!

We took a look at the dessert menu, but decided just to go back to the hotel for ice cream on the boardwalk ! I got a scoop of coffee and Mom got the cookie dough caramel. Both were great! I can’t pass up coffee flavored ice cream, its so good.

I had so much fun on vacation . Anytime I get to spend with my parents is always a good time. Im incredibly thankful that we get to do this together every summer and I look forward to where we pick for the next year!

Charleston, South Carolina: Day 4

Unlike Wednesday, the weather on Thursday was BEAUTIFUL. Definitely a pool day. Of course Dad and I got our workouts in– I elipticalled for 30 min and got on the stair stepper for ten, coupled with shoulders. We showered, got breakfast at the hotel again, and then laid at the pool all day. Surprisingly, I didn’t burn on this vacation–thank god. I dont know if I could take it again after what happened to me on spring break.

Mom and Dad stayed and laid out some more, but I had to go up to the room to do some more homework (bleh). I must have been pretty damn tired, because I fell asleep for about an hour when I was done! By the time I woke up, it was time to get dressed and ready to go out.

As per Bolger recommendation, we had reservations at Cru Cafe in Downtown Charleston. We got into the city a little early, so we took a walk down King St, which we hadn’t seen yet, and through the College of Charleston’s campus.

We got to Cru and I immediately loved the atmosphere. The building used to be an old house, and you could really tell. It was just very quaint and homey

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We ordered the calamari with Asian slaw and sesame dressing to start with. It may have been the best calamari I’ve had. The way they paired it with the slaw was super creative and it really contrasted the fried squid. Dad wants to recreate it at home. We all had a tough time picking what we wanted for the entree. After the waitress had to come back three times, we finally had our orders: Mom went with their pasta special, that had a fried pork chop over cavatelli in a cream sauce. Dad and I went back and forth, but he ended up going with the  seared Scottish salmon over lemon risotto, sautéed vegetables and honey ginger glaze. He fell in love, I was glad I didnt get because I wasn’t crazy for it, but it was okay. I saw the waiter bring fillet out to another table and I decided I had to have that. It came with gnocchi and a light tomato sauce. I loved it, I’m a sucker for gnocchi. For dessert, Dad picked the flourless chocolate cake… excellent choice. It was so dense and the chocolate flavor was strong. Im hungry just thinking about it!

Afterwards, we hit up Charleston Crab House since we saw that they had a rooftop bar. We hung out up there for a while and then turned in for the night.. as you can tell the Werkins are not night people.. dont judge 😉

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Charleston, South Carolina: Day 3

Twas a rainy Wednesday down south, my friends!

I woke up and got ready to hit the gym! Dad and I walked over to the bigger facility at the hotel that had more weights and equipment (I didnt know about the bigger gym the day before, the one I went to on Tuesday just had cardio machines!) I ran a couple miles and lifted legs and called it a day.

I wasn’t quite raining yet when I met Mom and Dad at the pool. We took another 2 mile walk on the beach, but the whole time I couldnt wait to shower! I just felt gross and sweaty and.. ew. So the plan  was: shower up, and go to breakfast.

A family that we are friends (shout out the the Bolgers) with actually go down to Charleston every year and the gave us a ton of restaurant recommendations (you know, the most important part of vacation). They had suggested Acme Lowcountry Kitchen. It was just a few minutes down the road so we got in the car and went. The place was pretty crowded. There was a 30 minute wait for a table, but we figured we’d stick it out. Me and mom wanted mimosas anyway, so we thought we’d sit at the bar until our table was ready. When the waitress took our drink orders, she informed us that we were able to eat at the bar, since the seats in there were first come first serve: works for me! I had a hard time picking, but I ordered the garden omelette with egg whites, toast and hash browns. No complaints here.

Spur of the moment decision, but we thought that since the sun wasn’t out, we would just ride into the city now. My mom wanted to go on a horse and buggy tour of the city, so Dad sucked it up and said yes (y’all know Dave can barely sit through church– let alone a tour). But overall, even thought it started to POUR,  it was pretty cool. The tour was pretty informative, which took us through the French Quarter of the city and down by the Battery.

Afterwards, my mom and I took a walk though the City Market, which was just a bunch of vendors selling clothes, foods, etc. Too many people for me, so we headed over to Henry’s Bar where my dad was sitting. Had a drink, waited for the rain to let up.

One of my all time favorite bloggers visits Charleston frequently, and in her post, she always recommends the restaurant 82 Queen. Unfortunately, none of us were super crazy about the menu, but i honestly just wanted to say that I have been there, so we decided to forgo dinner and just went in for a drink — yes, the Werkin’s essentially drank our way through Charleston. But the place was so cute and I was happy that I got to go!

We got back to the hotel at about 4pm. Mom and Dad sat at the pool for a little, and I took a quick walk down on the beach before we got ready for the night.

We drove to Mt. Pleasant to a restaurant called Graze. It was a small restaurant, but just from walking in, you could tell that the food would be good. Mom was happier than ever because they had blue cheese stuffed olives… A dirty martini was obviously on its way to the table. For an appetizer, I made the executive decision to get the Beef Tartare with crustini. Me and mom liked it, Dad wasn’t a fan: hey, ya win some ya loose some. For dinner, Dad went with the Wild Mushroom Pappardelle with goat cheese, sundried tomatoes, spinach, pinenuts and truffle oil. Anything was goat cheese has me sold; it was awesome. In typical Sheila-beef loving-fashion, Mom picked the horseradish potato hash, bacon, bleu cheese and demi. Not a single word came out of her mouth, it was that good. And in typical Monica fashion, I, of course, had to get salmon at least one night. it came with marbled potatoes, arugula, corn, and toasted coriander-tomato vinaigrette. The vinaigrette made the whole dish, and the salmon was cooked perfectly.

We left and took a ride down through Sullivan’s Island on our way home. We also stopped at a Harris Teeter to pick us some snacks and drinks for the room, and headed back to the hotel!

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Charleston South Carolina: Day 2

In true Werkin fashion, all of us woke up before 8am… did you expect anything else?

My dad had already left for a run (and God bless him because the humidity was ~80%) so I got ready and headed to the gym for my workout! 30 minute treadmill intervals, followed by bis, tris and abs– i felt pretty good!

Afterwards, I showered up and met mom and dad at the pool (Mom has to cop her spot!!!) We were all a little hungry so we walked up to The Hudson Cafe, a small shop in the hotel that served breakfast. Dad and I got scrambled eggs and bacon, and Mom got her signature bagel with bacon and cream cheese.

We took about a 2 mile walk on the beach. It was during high tide and the waves came in so far!  Ive never actually seen such a drastic change in the water levels; in the afternoon, the beach looked SO much bigger it was like night and day

It was decided that today was going to be our “exploratory day” of downtown Charleston. So we headed up the the room around 1, I did some work for my online class, and we left around 3:30!

Surprisingly, it didnt take very long to get into town from Isle of Palms. I was so excited to finally visit. Ive seen pictures of the city, but to see it in real life… it was beautiful. The three of us walked around the historic district, and down by the Waterfront Park. It honestly looked like a scene from a movie.

I wasn’t joking about the humidity. It was so hot out, so we decided to take a break and stop at a rooftop bar. We walked into Vendue, and took the elevator up to the roof. We had a couple drinks while we decided where we wanted to eat for dinner. After looking through a few menus online, we opted for Blossom, which was convenient since it was maybe 700 feet from the bar we were currently at

Looking at this restaurant from the outside, it doesnt seem like much. But appearances are deceiving! After sitting down, our waiter greeted us. He was phenomenal, like best service I’ve ever had. He was helpful and very knowledgable about the menu. We ordered some wine while we looked over our dinner options.

For an appetizer, we chose the Prosciutto Wood Oven Pizza. It came with prosciutto (obviously), pecorino, mozzarella, and basil infused olive oil. Delicious. No other words. I feel like with all that was on that pizza… it was really hard to go wrong.

For the main course, I went with the Grilled Scallops with creamy white grits, wild caught shrimp, mushrooms, spinach, and lobster butter. It was by far my favorite meal of the whole week. The texture of the grits was to die for, and the sea food was all cooked so well. My dad picked the Grilled Swordfish, rice and beans and lima beans. The man is STILL talking about this fish. Mom decided to go with the  Blue Crab Ravioli with porcini mushrooms, sweet corn, spinach, and Parmesan cream. At first, she wasn’t sure, but after they cooled down a bit, she said they were excellent.  We passed on dessert tonight, and headed back to the island.

We sat out by the pool again to listen to some music but the storm clouds were rolling in! We hurried back up to the room to avoid getting rained on!  But we had such a great day downtown, I really couldn’t wait to go back!

 

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Charleston, South Carolina: Day 1

Charleston South Carolina– a place that was definitely on my bucket list, but i can cross it off now! Needless to say, I was super excited to visit. Ive heard only good things about the city and I couldn’t wait to experience it for myself. My family and I actually stayed in Isle of Palms, so we got the best of both worlds– the beach and access to the city!

We arrived in Isle of Palm late morning/early afternoon. Our room wasn’t quite ready yet, so we took a look a round the resort to get out bearings. We stayed at Wild Dunes, and let me just say, this place is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. There are beach houses that line the boardwalk that lead up to the ocean!

It was a little overcast. but we decided to lay at the pool while we waited for the call about our room. After being awake since 3am… I fell asleep in the chair. Whoops! I woke up about an hour later, and met my dad at the poolside bar. This is my first family vacation since turning 21 and let me tell you– it rocks. The fact that waitresses can’t  take my wine glass away at dinner anymore is the best feeling in the world… but anyway!

Like I said, it was a long day. So when it came down to picking a place for dinner, we went with a small restaurant in Mt. Pleasant called Long Point Grill. I hadn’t really eaten all day and I was pretty hungry.

I ordered the Grilled Short Ribs that came with mashed potatoes, asparagus and a port wine jus. The ribs literally melted in my mouth. Mom ordered the Shrimp and Grits (all of out first time trying it!) and Dad got the Sirloin Steak. Everything was great and it was so nice to just relax. For dessert, we all split the key lime pie.. just what we needed for the end of the meal!

After dinner, we took a little walk around down by the water, and then headed back to the hotel pool to sit and listen to music. When it came time to turn in.. lets just say I slept fantastic.

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My Body Is No One Else’s Business

It’s kind of upsetting that this has to be said, but its true.

I didnt know that my body was something that I had to hate, criticize, or be embarrassed  of… until I was taught that I was supposed to. I could have gone through life without giving the fact that my thighs rub together a second thought, but society robbed me (& all of us) of that privilege. Oh, I dont look like the model in the picture? Then I better kill myself at the gym, and give up carbs and obsess over every little thing that does or doesnt go into my mouth, and basically drive myself crazy until I look absolutely, barbie doll perfect? Wrong.

So you’re telling me that we have to deprive myself to live up to someone else’s standards of beauty? That its a requirement for us all to be a size 2 to be valued? Last time I checked, thats ridiculous.

I dont see why I need to feel ashamed that I wear a DD bra, or that I have stretch marks. It makes zero sense. Why should we have to apologize for our bodies?  My body is no one else’s business. Just like your body is none of my business. I dont want to be told that I can only be happy with myself if I’m trying to fix how I look.

Think about it: ask almost any woman at any given time, and I bet you that they are trying to lose weight or gain muscle, or *insert crazy trend here*. Point is,  we’re always after something that is so unattainable, but the media guilts us into feeling like we aren’t good enough . Spoiler Alert: you are more than  enough.

I am me. If I decide that I want to change, then that is my decision. For me. To make myself happy. Not to fit some “ideal standard of beauty”.  Because, like I said, the only person whose business it is is mine.