Why I’ve Stopped Using the ‘F’ Word

No, not THAT F word

Fat (n): One of the three major macronutrients that has many biological functions, namely to provide energy and serve to protect vital organs from external damage.

Notice how that definition has nothing to do with outward appearance or weight.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I no longer want to use the F word. Not to tear myself down, and not as an adjective to describe others. And I’ll tell you why.

Ive narrowed it down to the 3  basic reasons why someone calls themselves/others fat:

1. To solicit a compliment: “OMG NO YOU DONT! YOUR SO SKINNY, I WISH I LOOKED LIKE YOU!” (Like, I admit it, I’ve been that girl)
2. To make them feel better about themselves: ” You know…so-and-so has gained a lot of weight, she’s gotten kind of fat”
3. Because they truly  feel that way about themselves.

And honestly.. none of these are good enough reasons to use the F word.

How many times have you felt better after calling yourself fat? You sit there, look in the mirror, tear yourself apart, tell yourself awful things, and expect to feel better? Its like sticking your hand on the stove and expecting not to get burned.

And trust me, I learned this lesson the HARD way. It took years of self destructive and self deprecating behaviors and I’m finally just now begining to understand this.

I started noticing how often people comment about their own weight or make a comment about someone else’s weight… it was a lot. And you know, some people argue “oh, thats just part of being a woman, we talk about losing weights and dieting, its normal.” ITS JUST A PART OF BEING A WOMAN? I just want to make sure that you’ve read and processed that. Im gonna be honest and tell you that I’ve actually heard that statement come out of someones mouth and I still can’t wrap my head around it. No No NO. If  we are okay with the fact that this is what is considered “normal” then do you see the issue here????

I decided that I was going to try to make a conscious effort to  not comment about my weight or anyone elses. I have spent way too much time making weight the focal point of my life and I’ve finally had enough, When someone brings up how “fat” they are, or how much weight they’ve gained, I dont engage. I change the subject. I won’t use the F word. I dont think that calling yourself fat should be normal. How about talking about the things you LIKE about yourself…? Oh my god. UNHEARD OF!!!!

So I challenge you: be cognizant of how many times you use the F word, be it about yourself or referring to another person.  I challenge you to stop using “fat” as an adjective to belittle yourself,   to feel better about yourself, or to seek out a compliment. Coming from the mouth of a nutrition major:  try to only use it when you’re talking about how awesome it makes your peanut butter taste 😉

there’s nothing wrong with normal

Yes, you read that right.

Anymore, I feel like we are constantly bombarded with messages: Be thinner. Be stronger. Be smarter. Be BETTER. Because if you aren’t going above and beyond, then you’re doing it wrong.

I had a hard time accepting the fact that “normal” is.. well.. NORMAL. I feared not having something to set my apart from everyone else, to make me superior, to give me an edge. My Type A personality feeds off of this mentality. I needed so badly to be the thinnest one in the room, have the cleanest diet, work out the hardest. There was even a time when  I took someone telling me that I looked “healthy” as an insult. Being underweight set me apart. Made me different. If I gained any weight, skipped the gym, or ate a burger, then I would be normal. Just like everyone else. Not special. Just Monica.

But when did that become not good enough? Just being yourself? The beautiful thing is, normal looks different on everyone. Normal means being who you’re supposed to be. We shouldn’t feel like we need to be more, or compare ourselves and accomplishments to everyone around us.

Be happy being yourself. Be normal.  Because honestly, you’re awesome just the way you are.

(this ones for you Allison 🙂 ❤ )

 

“dream weight” vs “happy weight”

Did I love that when I looked in the mirror I saw abs and little to no body fat? Sure. Was I happy? Absolutely not.

That was what I like to call my ‘dream weight”. The lowest weight at which I could possibly be. The place were my body fat percentage was so low that I could see very rib, oblique, and hip bone. Where I could fit into size zero pants, my thighs didn’t touch, and my stomach didn’t even dare to roll over my pants when I sat.

Fast forward to now: No, Im not a stick figure. I have curves. My body isn’t “perfect”. But to me its worth it. Why? It’s worth balancing my regular food choices with bread, cheesecake, and Chipotle. It’s worth going out with my friends and not worrying about how many calories are in the meal I just ate, or wondering if I’ve been “good” enough today to have a treat. To me, these extra pounds are simply more than just added weight. I used to see it as a failure–a step back to square one. But now I realize its quite the opposite. Those extra pounds are a victory. They’ve helped me to achieve my “happy weight”.

My life is so much more full of happiness now that I’ve let go of the expectation of the perfect figure. When I start to get down on myself, I try to remember this. Even though it was fully possible to get there, that low of a weight wasn’t sustainable, especially if I wanted to enjoy myself.

So for anyone feels like  they need to whittle away to nothing in order to feel good about themselves, let this be proof that your happy weight isn’t always your lowest weight.