Never Let a Man Define You.

 “Never let a man define you”. My mom has told me this for as long as I can remember. And she continues to preach this to me, even now as I approach 21.  Its one of the best, and most accurate pieces of advice she’s given to my in my life. It has  put things into perspective, and  helped me to develop into  into the independent, strong young woman I am today.

So now… I’m learning how to be alone.

Ive been guilty of associating my self worth with what others think about me, and I’m seeing how inherently wrong that is. My happiness should not depend on a guy, nor should I need  a guy to verify the great qualities about me.  My identity should not be so deeply rooted a man that I don’t know who I am without him. And I definitely dont need someone who is going to make me doubt, or feel less about myself.

I have a hard time sometimes seeing this… but I am still so young. I have my whole life ahead of me. This may very well be the only  time to not have to worry about anyone else, and have time to focus solely on my life, my future, myself. Ive spent too much time moping and feeling sorry for myself, instead of concentrating on how I can be the best version of Monica. And to be completely honest, I’m over it. I’m done letting men determine my happiness.

I’m  the type of person who  grows  comfortable in the security of  a routine. And my  relationships are no exception.  I realize that, when it comes down to it:  I miss the familiarity and the routine of my  relationships, the idea of the person, and not so much the person themselves. I miss the validation, and my pride often gets mistaken for heartbreak. But when I look back and reflect on if I was truly, 100%  happy in my relationships… the answer isn’t always yes.

Ive thought about it a lot, and in the end,  I came to the conclusion: I’m getting along just fine alone. I refuse to  put my happiness in anyone else’s hand but my own. Im moving on to a new chapter in my life and accepting that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for me. And most importantly, not letting a man define me.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Never Let a Man Define You.

  1. emrecovers says:

    Thank you for sharing. I was talking in therapy today about how I base so much of my self worth external approval of others. It’s kind of lonely because I don’t even know who I am or what I like, I just live for others’ approval.

    Liked by 1 person

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