“Never let a man define you”. My mom has told me this for as long as I can remember. And she continues to preach this to me, even now as I approach 21. Its one of the best, and most accurate pieces of advice she’s given to my in my life. It has put things into perspective, and helped me to develop into into the independent, strong young woman I am today.
So now… I’m learning how to be alone.
Ive been guilty of associating my self worth with what others think about me, and I’m seeing how inherently wrong that is. My happiness should not depend on a guy, nor should I need a guy to verify the great qualities about me. My identity should not be so deeply rooted a man that I don’t know who I am without him. And I definitely dont need someone who is going to make me doubt, or feel less about myself.
I have a hard time sometimes seeing this… but I am still so young. I have my whole life ahead of me. This may very well be the only time to not have to worry about anyone else, and have time to focus solely on my life, my future, myself. Ive spent too much time moping and feeling sorry for myself, instead of concentrating on how I can be the best version of Monica. And to be completely honest, I’m over it. I’m done letting men determine my happiness.
I’m the type of person who grows comfortable in the security of a routine. And my relationships are no exception. I realize that, when it comes down to it: I miss the familiarity and the routine of my relationships, the idea of the person, and not so much the person themselves. I miss the validation, and my pride often gets mistaken for heartbreak. But when I look back and reflect on if I was truly, 100% happy in my relationships… the answer isn’t always yes.
Ive thought about it a lot, and in the end, I came to the conclusion: I’m getting along just fine alone. I refuse to put my happiness in anyone else’s hand but my own. Im moving on to a new chapter in my life and accepting that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for me. And most importantly, not letting a man define me.