“dream weight” vs “happy weight”

Did I love that when I looked in the mirror I saw abs and little to no body fat? Sure. Was I happy? Absolutely not.

That was what I like to call my ‘dream weight”. The lowest weight at which I could possibly be. The place were my body fat percentage was so low that I could see very rib, oblique, and hip bone. Where I could fit into size zero pants, my thighs didn’t touch, and my stomach didn’t even dare to roll over my pants when I sat.

Fast forward to now: No, Im not a stick figure. I have curves. My body isn’t “perfect”. But to me its worth it. Why? It’s worth balancing my regular food choices with bread, cheesecake, and Chipotle. It’s worth going out with my friends and not worrying about how many calories are in the meal I just ate, or wondering if I’ve been “good” enough today to have a treat. To me, these extra pounds are simply more than just added weight. I used to see it as a failure–a step back to square one. But now I realize its quite the opposite. Those extra pounds are a victory. They’ve helped me to achieve my “happy weight”.

My life is so much more full of happiness now that I’ve let go of the expectation of the perfect figure. When I start to get down on myself, I try to remember this. Even though it was fully possible to get there, that low of a weight wasn’t sustainable, especially if I wanted to enjoy myself.

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So for anyone feels like  they need to whittle away to nothing in order to feel good about themselves, let this be proof that your happy weight isn’t always your lowest weight.

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4 thoughts on ““dream weight” vs “happy weight”

  1. thisisgoodbyeanorexia says:

    Such an inspiring post – thank you for this! I’ve always been told to look at is not as gaining weight but as recovering weight that was never meant to be lost. It sounds as though you’re in a really good place right now (though I’m sure you have struggles) and I really hope that continues for you.


    • monica1210x says:

      thank you so much! It took some time to adjust to being at a higher weight, and that brought along some struggles, but I’m in such a better place than i was when i was underweight. I wish you the best and keep on recovering ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lyss says:

    Such a great post! When we let go of the expectations we have for ourselves and the way we should look, we can finally feel a sense of freedom and learn to love ourselves as is. Loved this Monica 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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