an open letter to my exes: thank you.

I realize– yes, I am only nineteen. Yes, I still have a lot of  growing ahead of me, and of course, life has so much more to throw at me that I’ll have to learn to deal with. However, in my young adult life, I’ve felt love, heartbreak, disappointment, and indifference. I’ll never say that I regret any relationship that I’ve been in, because that would mean regretting any lesson that they’ve taught me, which I certainly don’t.  Each relationship was unique, no matter the length or the intensity. But the common thread was what I got out of them: experience.

So I want to say thank you.

to the one who hardly took “no” for an answer: you taught me to never compromise my beliefs, standards, or wants. You made me stick by my decisions and showed me, at a very young age, that I was stronger than I thought.

to the one who cheated on me: you taught me to not waste my time being faithful to someone who couldn’t do the same for me. You showed me that relationships cant be as shallow and empty as ours was, and that I couldn’t be with someone who loved himself more than me.

to the one who I broke up with: thank you for teaching me that its alright to walk away from something that doesn’t make you happy, and for making me realize what I wanted for myself. Thank you for being the little shred of proof that its possible to stay friends with an ex.

and to the one who broke my heart: this thank you may be the hardest to write; I still choke on the gratitude as it comes out of my mouth. But you’ve taught me the most. Not just about what love is, but what it isn’t, when to fight, when to let go, and how to move on. You showed me that I was capable of loving someone so much that it physically hurt. You showed me that I could be broken down and feel so small. And most importantly, you taught me that I could put myself back together, move on, be happy, love myself, love my life and emerge from a mess of a person to someone that I’m proud to face in the mirror everyday.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s